I had the fortunate chance to connect with someone from my past through this blog.
You guys kind of know my stance on connecting with people from the past.
but I have to remember (and I say this becuase I ALWAYS FORGET…) that some people are worth saying “Hey, it’s YOU! How the hell have YOU been?”
There are some of my old, formerly very-close friends I’d like to say that to, but alas… they have not turned up just yet.
Connecting with this person made me think about the person I was when I knew them ten years ago. I thought about who I was, what I was like. And How much I have- and haven’t – changed. I thought of that thing that employers and other people in positions of authority ask you when they are picking your brain-
“Where do you See Yourself, Ten Years from Now?”
And I have to say, where I saw myself Ten Years ago “Ten Year from Now…” is totally NOT where I expected to be. Not that it’s a bad thing- I hated those things becuase I know that people and priorities change and trying to predict where you will be can be a huge letdown- or completely cage you in. But It’s definitely interesting. Shall we peruse?
Ten Years Ago…
I would be Drawing for a Living. I’m definitely doing Art for a living, but not the art I expected to be doing. I’m doing corporate product work and working in Photoshop most of the time. I rarely pick up a pencil. Which- when I think about it- kills me. But that’s life. I am fulfilled in other ways. Writing here is one of those fulfillments.
I would be married, have a few kids, and a menagerie of beasties. None of these have really come to fruition. I have Rudy, but we aren’t married. I don’t have kids- don’t even know when THAT’S gonna happen. And Menagerie? Well, I have two cats and a dog, and once I had a fish… but I was expecting a whole PACK OF DOGS, and maybe some bunnies- or chickens. I just expected more animals, but the people I’m residing with have already expressed displeasure in every animal currently here so expanding isn’t an option.
My friends and I, we’d go out and do things together- go drinking and hit parties- ”girl’s night out” shit. All of the friends I had at that time? None are around. Something like that makes you wonder where the hell you fucked up. Was I that terrible of a person where I can’t be bothered to be reached for a birthday greeting? Or Maybe it’s my fault- cause I didn’t do it either. Either way- I don’t go out and do ‘girl’s nite out’ crap. I don’t know any girls anymore that don’t fucking grate on my nerves.
I’d still be in the Bay Area. This may be a weird one to many of you, but not for me. I grew up on the shores of the San Francisco Bay, As did my mother- and her mother… and being away from it seems to give me this dull ache sometimes. I yearn to see the ocean sometimes, and when I do- I can’t stop staring at it. Being Landlocked is weird, and I don’t like it much. I’m just glad I don’t live on flatland… THAT would drive me insane. I know at some time I’ll get back to seeing the Pacific on a regular basis-Rudy and I have discussed moving to Santa Cruz sometime in the future. But I don’t know when.
This whole “Life”Thing would make sense. I’m beginning to think it never does. I think God likes to throw a monkey wrench into the best-laid plans just to see how we pick up the pieces. And just when stuff starts to make sense, when I think I’ve got my ducks in a row… duck! Another holy monkeywrench. I’m starting to get used to it. Shit’s never gonna make sense. So why should I? Spontaneity is the spice of life, and gawtdammet, I’m gonna throw some horseradish up in this roast beef sammich I call life.
If you all feel so inclined, let me know in the comments somethign you thought would ring totally true 10 years ago and what happened to your best-laid plans. Let me know I’m not the only hopeless froot-loop in the cereal bowl…
wow-look at all the food analogies. I must be hungry.
For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin–real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.– Alfred D. Souza
i am so with you on the ‘girls’ thing. i am not one of those girls that goes shopping with the gang or goes to mary kay parties to complain about my husband. i hate that shit. even when we are out with friends (couples) i end up gravitating towards the group of guys.
ten years ago i was 22 and coming up on my third anniversary with my first husband. i was expected to pop out some kids with my piece of shit husband soon. i was working at a credit union making $8 an hour. if i had to say based on my state of mind back then, i was probably expecting in ten years to be 300 lbs and resigned to my shitty life. thank god someone else made other plans for me.
good for you- Its inspiring to see that yours worked out for you!
Ten years ago I thought I would be married, have a house, maybe a kid (even then I was never really sure if I wanted kids) and hopefully a decent job. Well, I actually was married a little over ten years ago, but being that I was so young (18) I ended up divorced about a year later. Unfortunately, my first husband passed away 4 years ago. So, I think this was life’s way of keeping me from being a widow. I have a house, but it’s not technically mine. My mother moved and I’m taking over her house and mortgage so, that I can try to save up and purchase my own home soon. Although, I still also have my apartment as there is some work to be done on the house. So, I live in 2 places right now really. I don’t have kids, but I’m not really sure if I want them yet. I give myself 5 years, if I don’t have any by then than I won’t have any. I’m not a fan of having kids in your 40’s. As for the job, it’s good enough and it pays well enough to cover the bills, but I’m not totally happy. I wish I had a job I loved, but then again, who doesn’t?!
I was actually looking at my high school yearbooks last week and I started thinking back on how much has changed. I had a best friend back then and I haven’t talked to her in 8 years. I always wonder if we located each other again would we still be able to be as good of friends as we used to be or even friends at all. People do change.
Wow, good post. Really got me thinking about what’s gone on in the past 10 years. I’m not exactly where I expected to be, but it could be so much worse!
Maybe publish the book “Macabre in Vegetables”. Nah, probably still single, living in a tiki hut on an island with a dog. And a mustache.
what’s stopping you from growing the mustache right now?
I’m scared. :{)
Yeah. I think I understand what you are saying. I have “found” many people in the past few years from the internet. And it is most weird when they stumble along my blog.
Billy- You need to dig out the prerequisite Billy the Pilot with a ’stache photo.
My hopes and dreams have sort of come true, albeit in slightly varient ways. Kind of like The Monkeys Paw.
1. Wanted a couple of kids by the time I was 25 or so. Came true, although I did think I would START having kids when I hit this age. Not have school age children by then. Oops.
2. Earn my living as a writer. I’m not picky either. I’ll write fucking bus ads if that’s all that is available. Alas – writing is an unstable profession, and aformentioned children also resulted in having to get an office job. But I still write for fun, so at least there’s that.
absolutely- as long as your personal self is satisfied and fulfilled, who cares how you pay the rent?
I mean, even hookers pay their rent- and if they’re fulfilled by dishing out hot plates of poon, then all the world to them.
i was just at x-e and i saw your post about rudy farting instead of proposing. sounds like he and my husband could be great friends.
the night my husband proposed…we went out to eat for like three hours. he kept dragging it out because he was nervous. finally i (having no idea what was going on) convinced him that we should go home. we hung out in the basement getting drunk. i got up to do something, i dont even know what. he stood up and had this wobbly smile on his face. he said “baby…i’ve got something for you…” and i said “what…a fart?” and he said “no…” and pulled out the ring he had bought me. sooo romantical, right? you just never know.
Ten years ago I thought that right now I would be a working illustrator, or working as an editor. Well, one of those came true. I am a video editor of sorts (which is what my degree is in), but not in the way that I imagined. There’s nothing glamorous or Hollywood about what I do. I basically churn out product and there’s very little if any creativity involved. On the plus side, I’m getting experience with the software and it will hopefully be a stepping stone to something better. Also, I’m making friends in the art world and if I actually buckle down and put the work in I might actually be able to get some professional work in the next few years. It’s really all up to how much work I put into it I guess.
I too have a couple of friends I was best friends with about 10 years ago and I really would like to get back in touch with them again. I wonder sometimes if was something about me that made them just cut off all contact. I wonder what happened. A couple of years ago one of them (they’re married) found me on MySpace and we wrote back and forth a couple of times, but then he stopped writing. I think I’m going to send a feeler out there and see if I can get some kind of response. If he doesn’t respond maybe that will be my answer. I do miss them though.