So. I was going to tell Mystie about my “muy fabuloso” experience with Chocolate Skittles, but decided that it was better if I just BLOGGED about it than forcibly barrage her with my own descriptions.

So.

It started… uhm, I think it was the first weekend AFTER easter. Since Lent was over, I was free to eat Candy as I felt so inclined, but was still taking it slow. I saw these at the local Liquorstore as we were buying a friend a present- yes, we buy our friends booze for their birthday, DON’T YOU?

I recalled that Mystie said that they were, in a word, MEH.

And since that’s what she thought about that TOTALLY AWESOME DOLLAR STORE PACKAGE I sent her a year ago, I decided that I can’t trust Mystie when it comes to consumables, because we just have different tastes. Like – I’m still tempted to try that Bubblegum Milk JUST BECAUSE she thinks it’s terrible.

Anyway. I bought them and put them in my Pocket, and left them there during the entire party. I didn’t want to take them out, cause if I did then I’d have to share and I am very bad at sharing candy. Like… you know how squirrels like to… you know, Squirrel stuff away and hide it, and then forget where they hid it? That’s totally me. I just recently found my Cadbury Cache from LAST YEAR.

But it wasn’t just that. I love Flavored things. Like, Candies that are supposed to taste like certain things that AREN’T candy. I love Jelly Bellies becuase they have such unique flavors- like Buttered Popcorn. And that you can take several different individual flavored candies and combine them to make a new flavor! That rocks my socks.

So seeing all those flavors- not just Chocolate but like…SMORES, I wanted to Analyze them. I wanted to know EXACTLY why each flavor tasted the way it did, and what made each “chocolate” item taste different. There HAD to be a reason they marketed them this way- there HAD TO BE a specific flavor nuance that made Brownie Batter taste different that Chocolate Pudding.  So on the way home, I shared the flavors with Rudy- and we analyzed them together.

Brownie Batter:  This was my Favorite. Rudy didn’t like if for the specific reason I did… and that was…

 okay, don’t skeeve…

you can TASTE the UNCOOKED EGG. Not that they used uncooked egg in the skittle, but that there was the distinct taste of uncooked egg in the candy, like someone analyzed what it was that made uncooked egg taste the way it did and created that chemical compound in a candy. That is precisely why they called it Brownie BATTER instead of Chocolate BROWNIE.

Chocolate Pudding: The next best flavor in my book. At first it tasted like a tootsie roll, but toward the end the flavor seems to release this sense of cafeteria pudding, like the one you’d get in school or at the hospital. You can taste that slightly powdered grainy texture that is so specific to cheap, CAFETERIA pudding, layered under a chocolatey milkiness. It was delicious.

Smores: This one was Rudy’s favorite. I can agree with Mystie on the notion that there is not much Chocolate here. But the marshmallow sweetness lets you forgo that. Not specifically any marshmallow flavor, but definitely that sticky-sweet cornsyrup-like  taste that is usually attributed to Marshmallows. But toward the end, as the sweetness begins to drop off, it begins to really taste like Marshmallow, and then BAM! The graham cracker jumps up and seems to layer itself over the marshmallow. That gratey, mildly cardboardy flavor of youth. Not bad.

Vanilla: I understand why They put Vanilla in there. After a few of the heartily flavored ones, you need a boring one to give your tongue a rest and lull the shock of Chocolate Overload. So, Vanilla is this reliever. Tastes just like a Vanilla tootsie roll. it was tasty. If anything It makes me upset cause I LOVE vanilla tootsie rolls, and a skittle taste like a Vanilla tootsie roll isn’t a candy, it’s a TEASE.

Chocolate Caramel: This may be a little late in the game to disclose, but I don’t like Chocolate. I don’t like the creamy phlegm it gives you when you eat it and I just don’t like the milky texture, which is one of the reasons I liked these candies so much. I love Chocolate FLAVOR, but not real Chocolate. Anyway, I kind of don’t like caramel for the same reason, it’s too creamy to be so sweet and I just don’t LIKE IT. So the Chocolate Caramel one was going to be an epic FAIL no matter what. And It wasn’t bad, but I didn’t like it. Like I expected. The caramel was just too sweet and overwhelming and overpowered the chocolate flavor- i guess Caramel compound flavors are just stronger than Choccie compounds. Feh.

Overall…?

I will buy these again. In fact, I want some RIGHT NOW.

mm, choccie.