smell memories.

I remembered learning very early on that our sense of smell is the sense most connected to our memories.  I also picked up that we as a species, are slowly losing our sense of smell.  That made me very sad. It still does.

I find my sense of smell to be very valuable. Living with a smoker for a pop severely dulled my sense of smell for a large portion of my life. It wasn’t until I started spending a major amount of my time in College- on campus, working on projects outside of school, and a blossoming social life- did I discover the whole wide world of smells, and many of my strongest smell-activated memories come from that period of time.

I came up with the idea of this post at the Pub. Being a waitress means that I mostly run on autopilot- spewing rehearsed phrases and doing as told- that it leaves me a lot of time to just THINK. Which is damgerous for a serious professional daydreamer such as I. I was standing at the waitress station, thinking- about what I cannot recall, if it was pertinent to the story I’d have remembered-  and I smelled Jason.

Jason was one of my best friends in College. As I spent a majority of time with him-along with my new functional nose, I got to know his smell well. We spent a lot of lunches together, and I did some big side projects involving his friends’ production company. I also felt as if he held me in high esteem- that he valued my opinion, and that made me feel special in a time that I was very insecure. So smelling Jason brought back a sense of free-spirited warmth and comfort.

Now I didn’t specifically smell JASON at that moment, but the smell that Jason had about him- the smell of Irish Spring bar of soap and a hint of Head & Shoulders shampoo. It took me a few seconds to place it since I hadn’t smelled it so perfectly notable in it 4 years so so. I looked around- it was almost as if I expected Jason to just be sitting there, at the bar- enjoying a pint, to look at me and give a casual “What’s Up” and then flip me off like he always did as a greeting.

I found our new waitress standing only a few feet away from me, rolling napkins. I tried not to look too obvious, as I tried to smell her general area. It struck me as neat and yet, very odd. Our New Waitress smells just like Jason.

So that’s where this whole post comes from.

Sometimes I’ll get a whiff of a smell, and I’ll be transported to some memory from when my nose first really started working- and people would look at me funny and I’d have to explain that I just smelled Snake. Which makes no sense to ANYONE but me.

And maybe you, once I explain.

Coffee and Cigarette Breath always reminds me of Julian- the Lab Tech at the Animation Lab on Powell. Doesn’t matter who breathes it, it ALWAYS reminds me of Julian. We worked in close quarters often as he would critique animation frames and knew how to fix the cameras- he taught me how to fix them so he wouldn’t be harassed so much… which of course led to more coffee and smoke breaks.

Wet Rocks and Stale Water always reminds me of the Snake the Walkers had. The Walkers were a family whose eldest I dated in my sophmore year of High School. The snake lived in a gravelly tank with a pool at one end, in the youngest Walker’s bedroom, so his room always smelled like Snake, and was kind of weirdly moist. Whenever I smell that smell, I just instantly say “Snake” without thinking.  And someone will always go “What?” And I say “I smelled Snake.” And that’s usually just weird enough to have them leave me alone for quite some time.

Cotton Candy always makes me gag. For one, it reminds me of Hard Work. And two, when I smell it begin to burn I get the smell stuck in my throat- like I was the one working over the mahcine inhaling floss remnants and burning the sugar and watching it smoke… yak. My first job ever was working the Candy Floss Machine at the County Fair, and when I took the concession job during college, I was only one of two people who could work the damn machine- guess who would inhale the burning sugar during the busy season?! Me. Yep.

Pepsi and Cigarette Breath is my Dad. Yeah. My dad smells like Pepsi and Ciagrettes, Specifically Kool Menthols. I grew up with that smell. Which is probably why Pepsi makes me happy- reminds me of my daddy. Add in the sticky ciggy breath and that’s my dad-leaning over my shoulder as he watches me make HTML brackets for my first webpage, or telling me how he was a part of the Tonkin Gulf Yacht Club while a WWII Documentary blares on in the background while I nod and egg him on, knowing that if I keep him talking he won’t ask me to do the dishes.

The smell of Dirty Dog and Cigarettes-you notice a theme yet?- is my Friend Heather. She was my best friend in High school, but had some drug problems and never actually finished High School- that made me sad ’cause she was so smart and creative but Pot and Prozac took her away from me. She had a Dog named Shadow, and after Shadow passed, Mocha. Both were smelly indoor doggies that rarely got baths.There was also the smell of Cat that permeated the house, but not so much the living room as the Laundry room.

So, those are some.  Glad I could share another quirk with the world- the more the world knows About me, the Less weird I hope I become.

 

6 things.

From The Pilver Here are the rules: 1) Link back to the person who tagged you. 2) Post the rules on your blog. 3) Write six things about yourself. 4) Tag six people at the end of your post by posting links to their blog sites. 5) Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their site. 6) And let your tagger know when your entry is up.

——

1. I saw Iron Man this weekend. And I never really liked Robert Downey Jr. before-he’s gott a goofy looking face and then with all of his…issues… meh. Passable. But this Tony Stark guy is a badass. I think it’s the facial hair- or that asshole confidence. I’d love to be his Pepper Potts. Except… I’ll wear a lot of black and rock Iron Maiden.

2. I adore my dog. Cash is my little boy. I always want to express how much I adore him, how I wish I could take him everywhere. For right now, this little Pit Bull is the closest I am to having a child- and I wish people could see that. Cash is the Light of my Life. My life revolves around him and his happiness. I would do anything for him, given the resources. But right now, I am giving him the best life I can. I’m not happy with it. But its the best I can do right now, and I hope he knows that.

3. I don’t know if I ever told any of all y’all… but I have an amazing mental catalogue of wine,  beer and spirits in my head. I spent over 2 years employed at BevMo, which is a mid-range liquor store based in California, that prides itself on the knowledge of its employees. I was a head clerk- think shift leader- and would spend quite a bit of my working time reading, learning and mentally cataloguing information about a variety of wine and spirits. They also sent me to classes and wine tastings to learn about the products I was selling. Talk about an education! 

4. Did anyone here know that I can draw? I try and cover it up- in my real life I’m chased to draw tattoos and logos and all that stuff for people who have no interest in paying me. I’ve been approached to draw flash AND learn how to handle a tattoo gun on more than one occasion, but have yet to actually attempt either offer. Has a lot to do with the fellow offering is my BF’s pal and Rudy knows the ups and downs of mixing business and personal relationships- and discourages it.

5. I need to write up another Metal entry. I haven’t thought about it in a while since I’ve been pretty busy at work, but I’ve been trying to decide who. Motorhead REALLY deserves one, but I just wore them out last month on the CD Player so I should wait until the Taste cycles again. I’ve also been listening to Psychobilly stuff as of late and think a Nekromantix write up could be more than appropriate. I’m sure one will come up soon, but of who? Yo No Se.

6. I am bad at Numbers. Seriously. Like… I switch and reverse and mash numbers together. And fucking FORGET math. I am SO glad we can check our bank accounts online and some machine adds for me- cause I couldn’t do it. I mean- Math is the reason I went to art school. I wanted to be an astronaut. I wanted to be an archaeologist. I wanted to be a Coroner, before wanting to be a Coroner was cool. And why didn’t I do that? Cause all that shit required math. You’re lookin’ at the girl who took 3 years to pass ALGEBRA, and only passed with the help of a meathead jock who would turn around after every lesson and say “Okay. What DID you understand?”

By the way, I keep scrolling up to that Tony Stark picture and sighing.

Okay. so now I gotta tag 6 folks. Do I know Six folks?

Guise,  Kris,  Suspic,  Bill-Will,  Doho,  and cause my list is so dude-heavy… Mystie, if she’s not too busy.

 

Hemmin’ n’ Hawin’

So… I was making the rounds of my regular BlogReads, and came across Dohopoki’s. A fellow ( i think) of reasonably high yet utterly unfathomable random intelligence, I enjoy reading his blogs for his interesting, mildly creepy yet surreal romps through his own psyche… Like a Uwe Boll flick with Art Direction by Salvador Dali. Okay, well probably not.

Anyway. A rhetorical question was posed. And you know what happens when these questions arrive. I have to REALLY think about them otherwise I’ll be mulling over them for days- not answering a question is like not allowing a flower to grow or a bunny to hop. It’s a futile and cruel existence.

So- The question was… What is the Opposite of Crashing? In one Word.

*clears throat*

 The act of CRASHING is creating contact with something in a disastrous manner. So the Opposite of Creating Contact in a disastrous manner would be… negating contact in a fortuitous manner. Or, you know, NOT CRASHING.

So- given that the opposite of CRASHING is indeed NOT CRASHING… It is not a singular word. But there are Singular Words that are NOT CRASHING, that can be used in its place… but…

What kind of Crash IS it? It could be an Airplane Crash, or perhaps a Car Crash. A Train Crash even… Or a wave crash. You know, I could go on. So… Say a PLANE CRASH, as Billy had done…

I mean, Not that he had CRASHED, but Bill used the example of a PLANE CRASH as his base, in which he stated that LAND was the opposite of CRASH. I feel differently- he has the spirit, but there is CONTACT. To coplelely negate CRASH, there can’t be ANY contact…

So in my train of thought, the opposite of PLANE CRASH would be FLIGHT.

And the Opposite of CAR CRASH would be DRIVING.

Train is a little different cause I can’t think of what EXACTLY one calls the action of the Train Moving Forward… LOCOMOTION perhaps?

…

This exercise in flexing my literary brain muscles in a useless manner is brought to you by the letter 7 and the number g.

packagepackagepackage!

*dances*

Mystie Sent Me a PACKAGE!

I was thinking she didn’t even know i existed- and yet… not only does she know I exist, she technically KNOWS WHERE I LIVE! And stuff that was in her house, is now in MY house! I believe I even have an item that is IN ONE OF HER ARTICLES!

*squee!*

Let me show you the schwag I scored!

Okay, i made individual notes of what the COOLEST items were, but some of the more mundane items included:

• A Muppets Coloring Book (squee! makes me think about getting a Muppet Tattoo…)
• A notebook with that nifty Crown Combo crown on it! ( i need a notebook too!)
• A slime-green tiger-print Slap Wrap ( I’m so gonna sprt this, I’m'a bring it back!)
• A burned DVC/CD season of Lady Lovely Locks
• A buttload of stickers
• An Inuyasha sticker
• A Count Duckula ShrinkyDink (squee!)
• Krispy Kreme paper hat
• Some schpiffy buttons

So that was the “normal” stuff. Some stuff warranted more than Bullet Points, so I took their individual piccies for in-depth discussion.

Hologram Kitty Stickers!

These are SO BLINKIN’ RAD! They’re like living LOLcats, only there’s no words. I kept thinking, how the HELL DID SHE KNOW I LIKED CATS?!  And then I remembered… I’m Kittymao. D’er. Yo Soy Retardo. I don’t know where I’m gonna put them. I thought about carrying them with me and decorating random bathroom stalls I encounter. But that’s what Sharpies are for.

Awesome Party Favors Circa 1986

I saw these and the FIRST THING I thought of was- These are from Zorn’s! I just knew it! Well, on second though I’m not really sure, but I’ll pretend they are and be happy! Rudy saw them and remarked how he always thought Teela was hot. I didn’t tell him my thing for Man-At-Arms, and it’s probably for the best. However, the idea of dressing like a certain Serpent lady for Halloween has been rekindled…

DarkWing Duck Magnifying Glass

I remember this show, and I do diefinitely recall its dark, pulpy feeling to it. I enjoyed it, but was no mega-fanatic. I DO know, that Mystie has a major love of this show, and for her to give ME something that is so iconic of the series is a total sock-rockin’ experience. I will tell you RIGHT NOW, I will not disgrace this piece of functional plastic nostalgia by torching paper and ants. Nay- it shall take a coveted place upon my desk for reading particularly tiny price listings and perhaps inspecting the divots and dimples of my cheez-its.

Fairy Princess Magic Cookie Kit!

I LOVE to bake, but rarely have the chance to do it cause time is a commodity in my house that is not easily gotten. I saw this and just giggled like a little girl! I was gonna make COOKIES! I love when everything you need is RIGHT THERE, all you gonna do is put it together. Like an Edible 1/24 scale ‘55 Chevy Bel Air model. I am gonna actually make these either TONIGHT or TOMORROW, in celebration of my BIRTHDAY! Yep. On April 18TH, i TURN 27. kinda scary. But I haven’t even acknowledged until JUST RIGHT NOW, so I’m not like, freaked out or anything. Not yet, anyway. So… yeah. I am gonna make these. And I will take pictures for y’all ok? Oo, another niftynoodle bloggie post, Courtesy of Mystie!

Okay, this last one… woo. Skeery. For me, anyway.

I have no fucking idea.

I imagine this is some cute Chinatown trinket for the little white kid who won’t stop saying” Daddy Get me something!” and he grabs the first and cheapest thing he can find and then dreads the consequent electronic insanity that emits from it. Honestly, the picture does it no justice.

Ok, so imagine, you see this as you open the box (after dutifully readign the note written on JackSkellington Paper with that Beautiful Blue Moon-Sand color wehad discussed on an earlier thread at Mystie’s blog) and go Oo! I like peanuts, even if you don’t REALLY like peanuts. I only like peanuts because peanuts are weirdly shaped, and that weird stuff happens when peanut-shaped items come into play.

So I pick it up0 it’s got this plastic wrap around it with some chinese characters on it. I don’t know chinese so it means jack SHIT to me. I imagine it says “Lucky Peanut” or something. I then begin to make a connection- Lucky=Cricket. Cricket in a Peanut Shell.

And I slow down, Cause… uhm,. CRICKETS kind of scare me. I’ll rescue a standed cricket with a cup and paper, but I’m always scared they’re gonna bite. and they’re so BLACK. And there only so far from Cockroaches and Locusts. I pray the crickets in this peanut aren’t real.

So I try and open it, and it starts TICKING. I shriek, and look to Rudy, who’s looking at me like I just shat a cat or something. I open the lid a bit and the noise begins again. Turns out, as I finally open it, there’s two gilded crickets, sitting on leaves that are attached to the base of this GIANT PLASTIC PEANUT. There’s this terrible cardboard background that doesn’t correlate to crickets in the LEAST, and this elecrtonic, simulate ricket chirp noise is just driving me bananas. I press on the red thing, and the chirping stops.

Oh great. I need to either keep the thign CLOSED, or I constantly hold down the button. And it’s totally freaking me out. That picture was SO hard to take, hence the terrible quality. That Sound will make you want to murder babies, MUY PRONTO.

 Again, thanks to mystie for bestowing on me a wonderful smorgasbord of girly-nstalgia goodness! You have given these items a good home and have taught me how to truly send a care package! Cause no package is complete without porn-page package materials.

uh-huh.

Another Fine Inspired Post.

So. I was going to tell Mystie about my “muy fabuloso” experience with Chocolate Skittles, but decided that it was better if I just BLOGGED about it than forcibly barrage her with my own descriptions.

So.

It started… uhm, I think it was the first weekend AFTER easter. Since Lent was over, I was free to eat Candy as I felt so inclined, but was still taking it slow. I saw these at the local Liquorstore as we were buying a friend a present- yes, we buy our friends booze for their birthday, DON’T YOU?

I recalled that Mystie said that they were, in a word, MEH.

And since that’s what she thought about that TOTALLY AWESOME DOLLAR STORE PACKAGE I sent her a year ago, I decided that I can’t trust Mystie when it comes to consumables, because we just have different tastes. Like - I’m still tempted to try that Bubblegum Milk JUST BECAUSE she thinks it’s terrible.

Anyway. I bought them and put them in my Pocket, and left them there during the entire party. I didn’t want to take them out, cause if I did then I’d have to share and I am very bad at sharing candy. Like… you know how squirrels like to… you know, Squirrel stuff away and hide it, and then forget where they hid it? That’s totally me. I just recently found my Cadbury Cache from LAST YEAR.

But it wasn’t just that. I love Flavored things. Like, Candies that are supposed to taste like certain things that AREN’T candy. I love Jelly Bellies becuase they have such unique flavors- like Buttered Popcorn. And that you can take several different individual flavored candies and combine them to make a new flavor! That rocks my socks.

So seeing all those flavors- not just Chocolate but like…SMORES, I wanted to Analyze them. I wanted to know EXACTLY why each flavor tasted the way it did, and what made each “chocolate” item taste different. There HAD to be a reason they marketed them this way- there HAD TO BE a specific flavor nuance that made Brownie Batter taste different that Chocolate Pudding.  So on the way home, I shared the flavors with Rudy- and we analyzed them together.

Brownie Batter:  This was my Favorite. Rudy didn’t like if for the specific reason I did… and that was…

 okay, don’t skeeve…

you can TASTE the UNCOOKED EGG. Not that they used uncooked egg in the skittle, but that there was the distinct taste of uncooked egg in the candy, like someone analyzed what it was that made uncooked egg taste the way it did and created that chemical compound in a candy. That is precisely why they called it Brownie BATTER instead of Chocolate BROWNIE.

Chocolate Pudding: The next best flavor in my book. At first it tasted like a tootsie roll, but toward the end the flavor seems to release this sense of cafeteria pudding, like the one you’d get in school or at the hospital. You can taste that slightly powdered grainy texture that is so specific to cheap, CAFETERIA pudding, layered under a chocolatey milkiness. It was delicious.

Smores: This one was Rudy’s favorite. I can agree with Mystie on the notion that there is not much Chocolate here. But the marshmallow sweetness lets you forgo that. Not specifically any marshmallow flavor, but definitely that sticky-sweet cornsyrup-like  taste that is usually attributed to Marshmallows. But toward the end, as the sweetness begins to drop off, it begins to really taste like Marshmallow, and then BAM! The graham cracker jumps up and seems to layer itself over the marshmallow. That gratey, mildly cardboardy flavor of youth. Not bad.

Vanilla: I understand why They put Vanilla in there. After a few of the heartily flavored ones, you need a boring one to give your tongue a rest and lull the shock of Chocolate Overload. So, Vanilla is this reliever. Tastes just like a Vanilla tootsie roll. it was tasty. If anything It makes me upset cause I LOVE vanilla tootsie rolls, and a skittle taste like a Vanilla tootsie roll isn’t a candy, it’s a TEASE.

Chocolate Caramel: This may be a little late in the game to disclose, but I don’t like Chocolate. I don’t like the creamy phlegm it gives you when you eat it and I just don’t like the milky texture, which is one of the reasons I liked these candies so much. I love Chocolate FLAVOR, but not real Chocolate. Anyway, I kind of don’t like caramel for the same reason, it’s too creamy to be so sweet and I just don’t LIKE IT. So the Chocolate Caramel one was going to be an epic FAIL no matter what. And It wasn’t bad, but I didn’t like it. Like I expected. The caramel was just too sweet and overwhelming and overpowered the chocolate flavor- i guess Caramel compound flavors are just stronger than Choccie compounds. Feh.

Overall…?

I will buy these again. In fact, I want some RIGHT NOW.

mm, choccie.

 

yesssss!

So.

It seems when I tell Matt to FUCKING WRITE…

He Writes.

I’m gonna have to remember that.

I will create a more functional blog post when I have both the energy and time to do so.

Tomorrow, perhaps.

Until Then, enjoy my hearty collection of LOLPresidents.

Okay.

Well, it was less hearty than I thought.

So here’s a bottle opener shaped like a trout.

Gawdammet.

Hey MATT!

Write a Blog Entry Already!

geesh.

All this teasing of “I’m sitting here just ABOUT TO POST IT” is just driving ba-neeners. You’re gonna drive me to go read Crown Combo and watch Mystie drool all over Will.

*snickers*

But really.

What are you waiting for?

*wanders off*

Another sharing moment.

Isn’t it amazing that all my sharing moments include some kind of blaspheming?

Anyway. Geek Kittie posted a link to this place,   http://www.kaypaintings.com/ and stated that she found them creepy. the forums added a bunch of intersting ideas… here’s the link to that thread.

I saw an opportunity I couldn’t waste.

 

So, now Me and Jesus are pals. The Kind of pals that hug openly.

suh-weet.

I want to share.

I had a great discussion last wednesday with a fellow waitress and a regular patron at the pub. It was funny then, it’s even FUNNIER when I told it while intoxicated with other intoxicated people, and feel the need to share it with you all today- I hope you’re intoxicated, but if not- I’m sure there’s a bottle of Cuervo that’s neglected and covered with dust in the back of your liquor cabinet.
Dood.
Do people still HAVE liquor cabinets? I imagine they do.
Well… I know my PARENTS don’t have one becuase they don’t really drink.
So… uhm, wherever you keep your booze, have a sip and think of me.
But hit that swill in moderation.
Or Not.
you don’t HAVE to be drunk.
But it helps.

Anyway.

I was working at the pub.
It was slow. So I was rolling Silverware, and Jordan (who is a gal) was rolling as well.
One of our regulars, Jon, was at the bar, sinking bottles of Bud and perusing through the Metro- a local free mag that’s known for “odd” advertisements… such as egg donation, call girls and porno shops.
Jordan notices him flipping through the Metro and says, “Find any good hookers in there, Jon?”
He says matter-of-factly, ” Not yet, I’m just looking at the bars right now, But I’ll get there.”
It’s quiet for a few moments…
Which means I start thinking.
I turn to Jon and say “Isn’t “Good Hooker” an oxymoron?”
Jordan giggles and nods.
Jon looks up from the Metro. “Not really. if a Hooker is good at what she does, then she’s a GOOD hooker.”
I agree. “You’re right, that’s not debatable, in THAT context- as in good vs. terrible.”
I pause to compose the next bit.
“But in terms of good vs. evil… You can’t have…. say, a Good Christian Hooker.”

And I hear myself, and kick myself.
Here it is, in LENT, a few days away is the holiest of all days and here I am, using the name of the LORD to describe a woman who doles out poon for cash.
Jordan turns anway and starts sniggling, and Jon’s jaw drops, and starts guffawing.
I even say it a few times, just becuase it sounds SO ridiculous.

I even relayed that story to family on Friday night while we were smoking out on the porch and I start nerd-laughing… Like, I can’t draw in enough air to breathe while I laugh so it sounds like that Lewis Skolnick guy from “Revenge of the Nerds”.  They all told me I was going to Hell. I told them that they were too becuase they were laughing!

 and well, that’s that. I’ve told what I wanted to tell.

Phsaynana!

death warmed over…

I feel… uhm. Like the title says. Everything aches. EV-ER-EE-THING. My left knee is throbbing in a way it hasn’t in years. My head is like… is it possible to feel as heavy as a rock and full of helium? Cause that’s how it feels. And I won’t say that I have muscles that I didn’t know I had ache, ’cause I took Anatomy and have a good grasp of the human body. But I didn’t know that my body could ache ALL OVER, ALL AT ONCE.

 And it’s not just ’cause of St. Patricks- a full 8 hr shift of waiting on folks in one of the busiest days of the year. It’s a big factor, but not the defining factor. It’s a mad combination of a little less sleep in order to wake up earlier,  healthy abuse and proper regimens that are all adding up in one big spectacular corporeal car-crash that is my ailing, unhealthy self.

I started jogging, for one. It was kind of for me, but for Cash too. I know I’m never going to have the svelte size-5 figure I had in high school. But I don’t want to succumb to my genes and be like my mum- never shake 4 babies’ worth of baby weight and have to have knee replacement surgery before I retire - though my knee is beginning to look that way anyway, but whatever.

And well, Cash is a big boy and needs exercise in order to be a good, happy dog. The two 1-mile walks a day combined with daily fetching and play sessions were just not getting all that extra energy out and he was becoming destructive and disobedient. So, now that the weather has gotten nicer, we have taken to the idea of hiking and Cash (and us!) enjoy it. And the 1-mile run in the morning combined with a 1-mile walk in the afternoon integrated with training sessions ( he just learned to rollover!) are making Cash a calm, well-adjusted dog. I love it. And it makes me feel good.

I want to jog more, but right now, I’ve only been jogging 1 mile a day at least 4 days a week. It’s not much, but I don’t feel physically able to push myself too far right now. I eat healthy, but don’t physically FEEL healthy. I sit in front of a computer for a living so I need to begin some kind of lifestyle change and I learned from my past experiences that throwing myself into a full-on involved regimen makes me HATE it, which makes it simply useless. Slow and Steady. Not hard, no threats.

 So- all of that, combined with coming off that Cold that knocked me on my ass after that dastardly Vegas trip, combined with Moving around our living room this weekend has just knocked me down and out. Not so much that I can’t work, but good GOD- now I know how a zombe lives. Or… whatever.

By the way- Will-Billy…

It depends on whether people knew if they could FLY before they lost the ability to do so. If people knew they could fly before and can’t now, they’d be Wingless Flies. If they NEVER FLEW, then Evolution would have seen fit to give them a different exoskeleton, and therefore the name of FLY would have never existed for them. They’d be a freaky-ass beetle or something.

yeah. I was really quite pondering that this morning.